How to handle shame

Another beautiful writing on shame. The topic is so important, we deal with it so often, but I don’t think it gets the attention it needs.

A Better NHS

“I feel so ashamed”

Vivienne had just been told by Hannah, the young gynaecologist that she had pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), an inflammatory condition caused by sexually transmitted infections.

“I didn’t know how to respond” Hannah later confessed. “I wanted to tell her that it was nothing to be ashamed about, but that seemed so insensitive, because she she really did feel ashamed. But also I didn’t want to say, “it’s OK to feel ashamed”, because then she might think that I was saying, “yes, you ought to feel ashamed”.”

We had been discussing an essay I had written about how shame presents in clinical encounters.

The bottom line is that shame is never a good thing. Which is not to say that shame never leads to a positive personal transformation, because there are plenty of testimonies to show that it sometimes does, but rather that the negative consequences of…

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